I Didn’t Know I Was Building Her

Building Her – Reflections of a Confident Woman Over 50

There are days when life asks us to stop. Not because there is nothing to do. Lord knows, there is always something. But every so often, we are meant to pause, breathe, look around, and appreciate where we are.

Today is one of those days.

I woke up feeling unusually peaceful. I wasn’t thinking about content, social media, my website, or what needed to be done next. I was simply happy to be alive.

As I sat with that feeling, I started thinking about the woman I have become and everything it took to get here. And something occurred to me – I didn’t know I was building her.

I didn’t know that every experience, every struggle, every skill I taught myself, and everything I tried, loved, abandoned, and returned to would become part of the woman I am today: a confident woman over 50. Still growing, still learning, and still figuring things out. But far more comfortable being me.

It Started with a Job in Radio

Me and DJ No Doubt, back in the day – VYBZ 96.3 FM outside broadcast

In 2004, I left my job as secretary to the Custos of Westmoreland and joined VYBZ 96.3 FM, a community radio station. I thought I was going there to work as an administrator, but life had other plans.

When I arrived, I found out there had been a misunderstanding. The Managing Director had already hired someone else for the administrative position. So what was I going to do? Someone decided that because I was from Savanna-la-Mar and knew a lot of people and businesses, I could do sales. The funny thing? I had never done sales before.

Nobody trained me. They handed me the station’s rates, contracts, and a receipt book. I learned about the programmes and features, then started researching, asking questions, watching other people, and figuring it out as I went. Then I started walking into businesses.

I had to learn how to introduce myself, make a presentation, handle rejection, and build relationships with people who didn’t know me. And boy, did I hear no. There were days I went home and cried, but eventually, the yeses started coming. And I discovered that I loved sales.

Not because I loved convincing people to spend money. I loved understanding what people needed, finding the connection between that need and what I was offering, and building relationships along the way.

I didn’t know it then, but I was becoming a salesperson. A self-taught one. And it would become one of the most important skills I would carry through life.

Then Music Opened Another Door

Me (known as Lady Mystery then), DJ No Doubt and Reggae Singer Hi Kee

In 2005, I began broadcasting, and another part of me started to emerge.

Artistes would bring their music into the station on CDs. Sometimes I could hear the potential, but the production wasn’t quite ready for airplay. I never wanted to be a producer, but I knew how to listen, so I would have honest conversations with them about what I was hearing.

Sometimes I would say, “The lyrics are good, but I think you need to go back to the studio and work on this or that.” They would return with the music improved, and I would add it to the playlist.

Eventually, I began interviewing these artistes on my Friday evening programme, dedicating an hour to showcasing them. At first they were mostly local, since VYBZ was a community station. However, the station streamed online, and before long, artists from other parts of Jamaica and even other countries were reaching out. Publicists began bringing their artists’ PR kits to the station.

That is when I discovered something I truly loved. I love helping talented people be seen and heard. I have always had a soft spot for the underdog. Not because the lesser-known artiste is less talented. Often it is quite the opposite. I like discovering people who have something special but haven’t yet had the chance to be noticed.

Looking back, I can see that my love for entertainment public relations didn’t begin when I started Mystique Professional Services. It began right there, behind that microphone.

Everything Started Connecting

Reggae Show MC – Gillian Larmond (aka Lady Mystery/Queen Gee)

Radio gave me broadcasting experience. Sales taught me how to build relationships and sell. Working with artistes introduced me to entertainment and public relations. Along the way, I also became an MC and host of banquets, wedding receptions, concerts, and other events. 

This Sunday, I will be hosting one of my schoolmates’ birthday celebrations, and I am so excited.

Funny how life works. The things we learn in one season have a way of showing up years later in places we never expected.

Then There is Crochet

Somewhere in all of this, there was crochet. I have been crocheting for over 30 years, but I took a hiatus. There was a time when people would ask me to make doilies and table runners for their homes at Christmas, the kind I would starch until they were stiff, neat, and pretty. Eventually, I started making hats.

Yes, I have sold my work, but I have come to realize that crochet doesn’t need to be another business putting pressure on me. I crochet because I love it. Sitting with my hook and yarn or threads while watching a movie or listening to music makes me feel good. Sometimes I make something for somebody. Sometimes I make something just because I want to.

These days, that is enough. Not everything we are good at has to become a business. Some things can simply bring us joy.

Then I Fell In Love With Growing Things

And now, there is my garden. My little container garden is where I grow herbs, flowers, and eventually food, and where I am learning what thrives and what doesn’t. Some plants flourish, some struggle, and some teach me patience.

Almost every morning, when I can, I make herbal tea. Sometimes I pick what I need from my own garden. Sometimes I source it elsewhere. But there is something special about knowing that something you planted and cared for can become part of your morning ritual.

My garden is becoming bigger than plants. It has shaped how I think about wellness and food security. You don’t need a huge backyard to grow something. You can grow on a balcony, on your veranda steps, in containers, vertically, or with wood and recycled materials, whatever works for your space. You can grow herbs for wellness. You can grow food for food security. You can start small.

Maybe that is why gardening speaks to me so much at this stage of life. I am learning that small doesn’t mean insignificant. Small things can grow.

At 50+, I Can See The Connections – Building Her

My life has not been a straight line. It has been a collection of experiences: sales, broadcasting, music, public relations, hosting, crochet, gardening, wellness, and somehow, they all belong to me.

I don’t have to choose one and pretend the others never existed, but I also don’t have to turn everything I love into a business. That has been an important lesson.

Today, I know that Mystique Professional Services is where I want to focus my professional energy. I want to help entertainment brands connect with sponsors for their events and projects, and build their visibility through public relations. I don’t want a business that consumes my entire life. I want to work with a manageable number of clients, do meaningful work, and build genuine relationships. 

It feels like a natural coming together of everything I have learned. The girl who had to teach herself sales. The woman who sat behind a microphone interviewing artistes. The person who learned to communicate, who loves music and who enjoys connecting people. 

All those pieces are still here. They are just working together now.

I Am Still Becoming

At 50+, I am not the woman I was at 27. Thank goodness. LOL! 

I have lived, I have struggled, I have lost people I love, I have started again, changed direction, made mistakes, learned and grown. And I have become much more accepting that life doesn’t have to look exactly the way I imagined it would.

• I can be ambitious and still rest.
• I can build a business and still crochet.
• I can care about wellness and still enjoy life.
• I can grow food in containers and build a professional services business.
• I can love music without wanting to be a singer.
• I can be many things without explaining every part of myself.

Perhaps that is what confidence means to me now. Not having everything figured out. Not being fearless. Not having a perfect life. But being comfortable enough in my own skin to say: This is who I am.

• This is what I have learned. 
• This is what I love. 
• This is what I am building. 
• And this is where I am right now.

Today, I Am Grateful

Life can beat you down; I have experienced that, but life is also amazing, and I have experienced that too.

So today, I am grateful for where I came from, where I have been, and where I am. For the people who have crossed my path. For the lessons, even the difficult ones. For every “no” that taught me persistence, and every opportunity that taught me something new. And for the fact that I had to teach myself so many of the things I now consider part of my professional identity.

• I am growing my garden. 
• I am growing my wellness. 
• I am growing my business. 
• I am growing in confidence. 
• I am learning to grow without rushing.

Maybe that is what today was for. Not another day of producing or trying to be everywhere. Just a day to pause and recognize the journey. Because when I look back, I see something beautiful: I didn’t know I was building her. But yes, I was, and I am grateful for the woman I have become.

Gillian Larmond – Confident 50+ Woman | Living With Confidence & Purpose | Growing Wellness